Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
