that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
