your parents love me but you hate me
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am puke
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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