i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
