p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
