I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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