Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You've changed since you got that strap on
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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