Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
What a dumb baby whore.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
