it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
