i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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