your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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