Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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