dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
