i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
