i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
