I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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