I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
