I skipped work to stalk him.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
