She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
