i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
