my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
