so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
