we're chasing vodka with high fives
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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