problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
