Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
