Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
