I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just had sex on a roof
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
