I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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