Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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