dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
