You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize