The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
