she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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