brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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