We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
