'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
