I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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