After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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