Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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