I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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