That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
