Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
