How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
