Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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