Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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