Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
