I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
