I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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