weddingsv make me drug and hornr
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Be still, my beating vagina.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
