It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
