you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
