omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
God, I missed his penis.
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